


Five Times Ray Said Nothing

by collatorsden_archivist



Category: Ashes to Ashes, Life on Mars & Related Fandoms, Life on Mars (UK)
Genre: M/M, PG-13 - Blue Cortina
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-02-05
Updated: 2009-02-05
Packaged: 2019-01-20 17:01:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,861
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12437523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/collatorsden_archivist/pseuds/collatorsden_archivist
Summary: Five moments in Ray Carlings life when he realised that staying silent was far more important than speaking the truth.





	Five Times Ray Said Nothing

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Janni, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [the Collators' Den](http://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Collators%27_Den), which was moved to the AO3 to ensure access and longevity for the fanworks. I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in October 2017. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [the Collators' Den collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/collatorsden/profile).
> 
>  **Author's notes:** I wrote this a while ok on my livejournal and decided at last to upload it here. Unfortunatly it is unbetad so if there are any serious mistakes please feel free to point them out but I have spell checked it but sometimes some mistakes do slip through:D Otherwise please enjoy.

Ray Carling was not a man to mince his words. Oh no, not him. He was a man. If he had something to say he said it. No apologies, no coddling. Just what he thought straight out no messing. Except sometimes he knew that laying down the truth. Slap bang. Just like that. Cards on the table. Well sometimes, just sometimes, it wasn't the right thing to do.

 

 

 

The First Time.

 

 

He was ten. Small for his age and he loved to talk. He talked at school, he talked to his friends, he talked at home where his small voice filled the empty silence made by his parents.

 

 

 

His mother had always been pale and serious for as long as Ray could remember. Most of her day was spent cooking in silence. She would stand alone in her small kitchen and stare stoically out into the garden. To Ray she looked like a statue and he would often try to sneak past her for extra food.

 

 

 

His father would sit in the living room, in an old rust coloured chair by the window. The wireless sat on a desk at the back of the room. The door to the kitchen was open so that each parent visible to the other but no words would pass between them. Ray would talk and talk if only so he wouldn't have to listen, because aside from the wireless all their was to hear was the creak of floor boards, the groaning of pipes. Just listening to the house as it settled into place.

 

 

 

His father was his hero. On the mantle was a proud picture of him in his army uniform.Bright and fresh before he was sent to fight the Jerries in World War II.

 

 

 

Ray would proudly tell everyone about his brave father. He often had to embellish his war stories as no matter how hard Ray pestered his father he would not release one word of his many heroic battles to his son.

 

 

 

He didn't say everything of course. Like how his fathers hands would shake at loud noises, how sometimes he would speak to people not there, how at night Ray would hear screams that gave him more nightmares then any monster under his bed.

 

 

 

It was June. The heat rolled down on Manchester and the light exposed both the grime of the streets and the green of the trees. It was Tuesday when he heard the change.

 

 

 

His mother was humming. Just softly. Completely absent mindedly. She had a faint smile on her face, her hair shone and her face sparkled she even had a slight rosy tint to her cheeks. There seemed to be a whole other person in the kitchen.

 

 

 

For weeks and weeks Ray had the most wonderful time. His mother would smile and hug him, pat his hair and fuss. When Ray talked she listened and laughed and talked back. His father would sit alone by the window but even he seemed less sullen, less distant. For a while Ray knew that this was happiness.

 

 

 

It was July. The sun rose high over head. It was Thursday when he saw the truth to his mothers change.

 

 

 

He was walking down the street to go to the park to play. He kicked a ball in front of him until suddenly it careened off and ricocheted down a hill. Like a hunter after it's prey he chased full speed after it. Eventually puffing and huffing he picked up the old ball from a drain. He twirled it around in his hands checking for damages, satisfied he turned to leave when saw it. A statue out the corner of his eye.

 

 

 

The man was tall in a rough business suit, his hair was a muted brown going to grey. He smiled warmly to the nice woman on his arm. A woman who Ray only recognized after a minute. They walked down the street with an easy gait, talking all the way down, smiling and laughing. His mother and a man who he'd never seen before.

 

 

 

Even though he was only ten Ray knew what all those smiles and hums had been. Incensed he ran off full speed, his face flushed with more than just exertion, the wetness from his eyes another matter.

 

 

 

How dare she do this to his father? A hero of the highest order! What possible reason could she have for doing this to them? To him? He'd decided the moment he saw them together. He was going to run home and his father was going to go after that man just like he did the Jerries in the war,he'd sweep his mother off her feet and everything would be back to normal. Better then normal.

 

 

 

He ran into his house and found his father by the window exactly where he'd been when Ray had left. Ray ran forward breathlessly and was about to start his tirade when he felt the words dry up, a sudden drought in his throat.

 

 

 

A dash of sunlight flickered across his fathers face and for the first time ever Ray saw his father, actually saw him.

 

 

 

There was no dashing figure in an army uniform with a twinkle in his eye. Here was an old man, aged beyond his time. His hair was fraying, his eyes were sunken and stared out from a hollow face. His hand was shaky and now that Ray really looked one hand only had four fingers. How could he have never noticed that?

 

 

 

The clothes were stained and for the first time Ray noticed the faint acidic smell of piss . Some part of Ray stopped and stared . He suddenly felt like he'd lost his dad in the war, and truthfully hadn't that been what happened?

 

 

 

But Ray saw the truth, that this man was broken and clinging on to life. If he was to say anything of what he'd seen today then it would kill him. And no matter what Ray saw now his father was still a hero and a hero didn't deserve that. So Ray kept silent even though his mother carried on from that day humming and smiling and happy because Ray knew that it was the right thing to do.

 

 

 

 

The Second Time

 

 

He was twenty five and he'd been in CID for two months and was at last about to go on a beat with Gene Hunt. Hunt was a man after his own heart and as far as Ray was concerned he could do no wrong.

 

 

 

All his life he'd been drifting. Even after his time in the national service he'd never really found a path in life. Despite his bluster he often wasn't sure what he was doing.

 

 

 

He'd fallen into the police force. Well his dad had died and he hadn't seen his mum since he got back from service. He'd come back with at least a small sense that he wanted to fight for his country and if he wasn't going to do that abroad he could do it at home.

 

 

 

Working as a plod hadn't really endeared him to the cause however. He'd been twenty two and just about ready to quit after one to many nights being threatened by drunks and vomited on when he first met Gene Hunt. Well when he'd nearly got run over by Gene Hunt.

 

 

 

There'd been a blag at a Jewellers and the blokes were still inside waving old rifles around the place looking ready to shoot at any moment. About twenty plods were lined up outside the shop with hardly any protection but their shiny buttons, Ray was feeling distinctly green and wishing he knew what to do.

 

 

 

He'd heard the rumble first and was quick enough to move out the way when a beautiful Ford Corsair raced up the street and screeched to a stop outside the store and out jumped DI Gene Hunt. He was a tall man with a steely glint in his eye. He simply screamed authority from every pore of his being from the tip of his blond hair to the soles of his loafers. In every movement he was in charge.

 

 

 

“Oi you dozy bastards move out the way” He shouted and every plod around him, even Gerry who was in his forties and as big as a house, moved meekly aside. He strode up past all of the men.

 

 

 

Hunt cleared his throat and shouted . “All right you tossers are you robbin' or shoppin'? It'll be really helpful if you could decide what the blazin' hell you think you doin' so'se I can either arrest you or go home to me missus. And if you don' make your mind up in the next five minutes I'm gonna' come in there and arrest you any way for being criminally bloody stupid and wasted what would otherwise be a good night.” He finished shouting and promptly waited patiently for several minutes arms braced straight at his sides.

 

 

 

After a while Gene swiped his tongue over his teeth in annoyance, pulled out his gun and cocked it looking ready for a fight.

 

 

 

“Alright yeh bastards! You've had you're chance and I've run out of patience! Now I'm a nice bloke.” He said as he edged calmly and silently towards the door. “So I'm gonna give you to the count of three. One...” He raised the gun. “ Two” Ray saw a slight shadow.

 

 

“Three” That was no shadow! That was one of the blaggers raising his shot gun with a shaky hand.

 

 

 

Hunts hand stretched out to the handle and Ray barely had enough time to launch himself forward barrelling into Hunt sending them crashing to the ground with a gasp. The bullet whistled over head and hit a brick wall with a smack and a circle of flying dust.

 

 

 

Suddenly Hunt pushed Ray up and onto his feet propelling himself forward in a smooth feat of strength and agility.

 

 

 

In one moment he pulled his gun out aimed and fired it straight into the shooters shoulder sending the gun flying from his arm and leaving the man to collapse on the floor clutching his wounded body sobbing like a girl.

 

 

 

This was like a vision from his childhood. All those stories of his father fighting in a blaze of confidence and glory. This certainty in action, this boldness and courage. He ran forward with Hunt into the shop and soon they both punched and kicked their way to victory.

 

 

 

It was several hours later in the Railway Arms with people slapping him on the shoulder and congratulating him but it was really only when Gene Hunt caught his eye and lifted his glass to him that he felt that a complete swell of pride. This was what Ray wanted to do and right now he knew that he would give anything to be a DI just like Hunt. He was going to be Hunts DI and every day would be just like today.

 

 

 

And now it was three years later and here he was in the front seat of the Corsair, the acceleration pressing him slightly back in the chair, with DCI Gene Hunt driving aggressively forward. It was night and the streets were inky and criminals could skulk in every shadow and Ray knew that they were going to catch them all.

 

 

 

It was then that Ray caught a glimpse of movement dashing past the street lights and into an alleyway. From Ray's experience pretty much anything that happened in alley's was illegal. They smelt far to much like piss and rotten food to go to for any other reason then that you didn't want to get caught.

 

 

 

“Summit in that alley Guv.” Ray said pointing to the alley on the right. Gene grunted and slammed the breaks on and almost without pause he was outside the car stalking forward. Ray scrambled out to catch up with him and they both poised with anticipation at the mouth of the alley.

 

 

 

Two blokes in the shadows, one up against the wall having seven types of shit being beaten out of him by the other bloke.

 

 

 

“What's this then? Having a lover's tiff are we?” Hunt asked sardonically. The two men stepped into the light, well one stepped forward dragging the other one with him. Gene suddenly stiffened beside him.

 

 

 

“Well, well Mr Hunt fancy seeing you here in our neck of the woods.”

 

 

 

“You step forward. You're under arrest, I warn you if you run I will have to chase after yeh and beat the crap out of yeh” Ray said, not the most imaginative line ever but he did struggle to recreate the easy humour that Gene Hunt had.

 

 

 

The man didn't look the least bit frightened. He'd seen blokes like this before but Hunt usually silenced them with a quick punch in the gob. This time he just stood absolutely still. That was when he knew something was wrong.

 

 

 

The bloke laughed and nodded to Ray.

 

 

“New here is he? It's alright kid you'll learn ,every body does.” He said still smiling cheerfully his hands wrapped around the moaning lump of a man.

 

 

 

“What's that poor sod done then. Not given Warren a good enough seeing to over his desk?” Hunt said roughly. The man laughed cruelly.

 

 

 

“Now now Hunt you know you don't ask questions. That's why Warren pays you. We help you, you keep out of our business.”

 

 

 

Ray who had stood at a loss and completely flabbergasted up until now was suddenly filled with rage. How dare he suggest that Gene Hunt was on the take! He wasn't like that at all.

 

 

 

He waited ready for Hunt to defend his honour like the hero he was and Ray would back him up the whole way.

 

 

 

But suddenly Gene's turned and made his way back to his car. Ray felt something shrivel in his stomach, he looked back to the man who gave him a wink before he began to start throwing punches again. Ray lost at sea had nothing else to do but flounder after his DCI.

 

 

 

He walked back to the car and was suddenly filled with rage once again. He was all ready to let loose words with all his wrath when he stopped. Gene Hunt wouldn't meet his eyes and was suddenly ten inches smaller, he no longer exuded confidence. He looked like an old wounded dog that had just got kicked again and wanted nothing better then to lick it's wounds. Silently Ray got in the car with a realization that nothing he could say would ever be half as bad as what Hunt would do to himself. As they drove back to station with Hunt stooped over and withdrawn Ray was filled with a vicious satisfaction that he'd done the right thing.

 

 

 

Three weeks later he picked up a bird at a trendy bar, he'd only met her that night. By the end of the week he'd been given some rather interesting snap shots of a night he barely remembered. He took his first take the next day.

 

 

 

The Third Time

 

 

He was thirty four. It was cold and windy and late. He was not in the best moods to begin with having missed the match . Now the station was filled with large drunken City fans celebrating their victory with as much noise as possible.

 

 

 

Phyllis was sitting behind the desk a blazing look of fury set in a face of steel. Three blokes stand singing at the top of their lungs before her, their serenading not to her taste, especially when one of the turned mid note and vomited all over the floor.

 

 

 

“Enough! Next person who opens their ruddy gob will have it sewn shut with a blunt pen!” She yelled at them fiercely.

 

 

 

“Aww shut up yeh fat old hag” One of them said slurring just as Ray was walking down the corridor towards them. The rest began to taunt her loudly making Phyilis face cloud over like thunder. Just as Ray caught up with them Phyllis stood up seeming to tower over them despite her short stature.

 

 

 

“Right you bunch of drunken pillocks! You're going to the cells for the rest of tonight and you're not coming out until I say so and so help me god I hear one more sound outta you, I don't care if it's a single burp, I am gonna feed you that sick for breakfast! Is that clear!” She shouted making even Ray stand back in fear.

 

 

 

“You can't do that!” The one who still had sick on his face said.

 

 

 

“You're forgetting. I'm desk sergeant and right here my word is law you should have thought about that before.” She said still steely. Ray feeling suddenly generous and seeing as there was no plods or plonks about he decided to take them down to the cells himself.

 

 

“ It's alright Phyllis I'll take em down.” He said walking past her. As he was pulling the suddenly docile men away he saw Phyllis turn away sharply and slip into the back room.

 

 

 

Phyllis despite being a bird had balls of steel and he defied anyone to try and take her on and win. When he'd first come in to the police force, green around the ears and ready to make a big impression, he'd made that mistake.

 

 

 

He'd been with six other new plods and they'd dared him to cop a feel of Phyllis lovely backside. Well she was only a bird so it was allowed. So ever so quietly he moved up behind the Sergeant as she leant over working at her desk.

 

 

 

He was close now and could smell the mint and tea that clung onto her like a perfume. He reached out his hand, turned and smiled at the others who were stood smirking over by the door. Before he got any closer he was suddenly hit with an anvil. Except it wasn't an anvil. Phyllis some how had, without turning around, sensed his coming and had quickly lifted her arm back and given him a good thump on the ear.

 

 

 

“I see you doing anything like that again Carling to me or the other girls you'll find your self in a plonks uniform and singing soprano because I'll have ripped yeh balls off.” She'd said with such force that all Ray could do was nod and run off as fast as possible ignoring his laughing mates.

 

 

 

The drunks had been no problem and for spite he'd locked them all together with a single bunk and a bucket.

 

 

 

When he got up stairs he saw the Guv and Chris hanging by the front desk. The Guv leaning impatiently forward banging on the counter, Chris dancing around like he was at the disco.

 

 

 

“Phyllis this is not a ruddy hotel! I expect you to be out here and not waiting out back till I ring a bloody bell.” The Guv said loudly but with no malice. The door to the back room was before Ray so he may as well get Phyllis himself he thought still feeling strangely charitable.

 

 

 

He knocked quietly so as not to disturb her. She'd looked ready to breathe fire before and that was never a good mood to catch her in, not if you wanted to leave with all your appendages still attached.

 

 

 

When no one answered he pushed the door forward gently and peered inside. There was a slight choked sound from the back. Pushing himself in Ray was greeted by a sight he never before expected to see.

 

 

 

Phyllis was hunched over the kitchen counter her shoulders shook slightly and the sob (for a sob was what that sound was) were being frantically cut back with a dwindling force.

 

 

 

Phyillis Dobbs. The Phyllis Dobbs was crying. He didn't know why it shocked him after all Phyillis may be a copper but she was still a bird. Birds cried over being called names and stuff like that, especially women who were a little bit over the dating age.

 

 

 

Ray hovered for a minute unsure what to do. Did he go forward and put his arm around her? Or did he leave her alone?

 

 

 

Didn't birds liked to be treated nicely when they were crying? A hug or something? Squeeze them but no copping a feel no matter how much you want to. Or did he leave? Looking at Phyllis he knew that she wouldn't want anyone to see her like this let alone come up to and talk about it. Silently as he could Ray crept out and slowly as possible he shut the door.

 

 

 

“So Raymundo what's keeping her then?” Ray nearly jumped out of skin when the Guv spoke right behind him. “Will her majesty care to join us in work or stay back there crimpin' her hair.” He said sounding more annoyed then before. Without waiting for a response he went forward to the door handle.

 

 

“No Guv you can't go in.” He said. The Guv's eyes narrowed.

 

 

 

“And why not? My station, my rules. I go where I want.” He said almost petulantly. Ray tried desperately to think of something.

 

 

 

“We just had three blokes in here given her hell. She's in a right temper Guv. Nearly tore their balls off. I wouldn't go in there I think she's mad enough to do it to you.”

 

 

 

The Guv's hand hesitated on the door handle. Even the Guv got a little afraid of Phyllis when she was in a real temper. He drew his hand back and sniffed dismissively.

 

 

 

“Best to leave it then. Give her a call on the radio later. Weren't that important anyway. Come on Raymondo we've got a killer to catch.” The Guv said turning and stomping off to his car.

 

 

 

Ray trailed behind an exuberant Chris and wondered if he should get the desk Sergeant some flowers or sweets or something. Wasn't that what you did with crying girls? After a minute he shook his head. Of course she wouldn't want chocolates or flowers she'd want to forget it as quick as possible and move on. She may be a bird but she was still a copper.

 

 

The Fourth Time

 

 

He was thirty six and surrounded by the soothing sounds of copper's chatter, smoke curled around the air bathing his lungs, the taste of beer was in his mouth, even better the autumn rain was no where near him in the warmth of the Railway Arms.

 

 

 

The day had been good with six arrests followed by a kick around in the CID office with DI Monroe scoring perfectly between the two bins. He'd been looking a lot thinner recently and the rumour passing round the station was that he wasn't holding up so well after that kiddie murder case last fall. Rumour said he'd be going soon. Much as he liked Monroe Ray couldn't help but feel that tinge of hope that soon he would be DI and filled with the self confidence he'd seen in Gene Hunt on that very first day.

 

 

 

He took another sip of his pint and listened with an absent ear as Chris Skelton rattled of about his new bird Clarissa (and what type of name was Clarissa any way? Sounded like one of them fancy French perfumes or something) about their great date and how nice she was, how she smiled, how she laughed.

 

 

 

“Yeh but what she look like?” Ray asked impatiently before taking another sip.

 

 

 

“Erm well she sorta tall with long hair, brown I suppose but a nice brown yeh know not like a dull one. And well I dunno she's nice looking.” Chris said rubbing his nose thoughtfully frowning in concentration. Ray resisted the urge to give him a whack around the ear.

 

 

 

“No you div what's she like? I mean has she got a nice arse? Good pair of tits?” He asked with appropriate hand movements. Chris stuttered for a moment and then in his usual all elbows and knees movement got his battered leather wallet out of this pocket. He fumbled about for a minute before passing over a picture.

 

 

 

Ray took it quietly and looked down at the black and white photo. Chris was right, she was pretty in her way. Long thick dark hair and narrow face with a long thin nose and bright eyes. She was thinner than Ray went for. He liked to see meat on a woman's bones. At least that told you she knew how to cook a decent meal. But despite that she seemed ok and Chris was happy and hopefully was able to get some because if Ray was lacking in that area right now it didn't mean every one else had to.

 

 

 

He'd always felt close to Chris ever since the day he first turned up in CID a year ago. He'd stood cowering next to the Guv ,all pale and sickly but with a firm set of jaw that meant he wanted to make a good impression. It didn't really go so well when as soon as he stepped forward to go to his desk he tripped over a bin and went careening forward to the floor.

 

 

 

“Skelton this isn't a ruddy B&B get off your arse and get to work.” The Guv had said sharply as Chris scrambled off the floor. Hunt turned to the rest of the laughing CID department. “And that goes for you lot as well. We've had three robberies and no suspects I want someone in that jail cell tonight. No one robs my city and gets away with it! So get to it.” He said loudly and marched back into his office pulling his blinds closed with a sharp snap.

 

 

 

Ray hadn't warmed to Chris at first and he'd joined in with the constant joking about him. Callling him Trippy Skelton or Helter Skelter and various other things. Chris looked like he still belonged in uniform with a young face and a body made up of joints. He constantly dropped things and got muddled. The rumour was that his uncle was some big wig in the Met and he'd been boosted up which would explain a lot as he certainly didn't seem to know what he was doing for the most part.

 

 

 

Ray was really miserable by the afternoon having had no luck finding any body that could have done the robberies, Skelton having dropped his tea on Rays leg and to add insult to injury he was paired with the git for the rest of the day.

 

 

 

Sullenly he'd got into his car with the boy and ignored his muted tries at conversation. He was ready to reach boiling point when he saw a bloke dressed all in black with a rough ski mask on his face leap out of a window with a bag in his hands.

 

 

 

“There he is the bastard!” He shouted slamming the breaks on and jumping out as fast as he could. He could faintly hearing Chris fumble out after him.

 

 

 

“Oi you! You're nicked!” Ray shouted. The bloke stopped in shock staring at him dropping the bag in surprise before taking off like a rabbit.

 

 

 

Without waiting Ray took off after him as fast as he could. He wasn't as young as he used to be and much as he didn't want to think about it he used to be carrying a lot less weight about when he was twenty. He rounded a corner and was hit in the face very fast by a dust bin lid. He hit the tarmac heavily feeling the grit bite into his back.

 

 

 

He felt wet blood dribble down from his head and his eyes clouded over with spots. He couldn't think what to do still stunned and he watched in dizzied horror as the bloke raised the metal dustbin lid up high ready to smash it down on Ray's head again.

 

 

 

“You ain't got me copper!” He snarled through the cloth. Ray heard the sounds of running foot steps and before he or the bastard with the bin lid could register it around the corner came a running Chris Skelton swinging the blaggers black bag with a vengeance. It swung forward and with a heavy thunk that sent the bloke to the ground with a broken nose.

 

 

 

Ray wasn't sure which one of them looked more surprised. Him, the robber or Chris himself. Quickly Ray moved forward ignoring any twinges in his muscles and quickly cuffed the bloke ignoring the blood gushing from his nose and his quiet moaning.

 

 

 

“Shit!” Chris yelled and Ray pivoted faster then he had in years ready for a fight, stopping short when he saw no one.

 

 

 

“What?” He said. Chris looked up eyes wide looking in the bag. Drugs maybe? A concealed weapon.

 

 

 

“What is it?” Ray asked again annoyed.

 

 

 

“I think I broke a figurine.” He said pulling own a Shepard. Well it had probably been aa porcelin shepard figurine it was a bit difficult to tell what with it having no head, there was a sheep by it's feet though.

 

 

 

“You great div.” Ray muttered pulling the bloke up of the floor and dragging him to the car.

 

 

 

“Here my Grans got these! She does her nut when they get even scratched.” Chris said following after Ray the bag and figurine swinging in his arms.

 

 

 

In the pub that night Chris had been the centre of attention with people slapping his back and cheering. Ray remembered when he was in that position a long time ago and now he looked closer he could see himself in Chris.

 

 

 

Oh Chris was all elbows and knees and quieter then him but they were still the same deep down. Still looking to do the right thing. From that day on Ray had taken it upon himself to look after Skelton, break him in, make sure he got an education of how to survive being a copper.

 

 

 

And now it was a year later and Ray had a throbbing head and in a foul mood as he waitind in a queue for a packet of cigarettes from his local. Near the front was a couple that were all over each other. Ray couldn't be doing with the hold up especially from a couple that couldn't stop sticking their tongues down each others throats every few seconds.

 

 

 

Thankfully they were soon served and left still leaning on each other. It was only when they walked out the shop that Ray was hit with a lightening bolt of recognition. The woman. It was that bird with the daft name! Clara or Cissy or something. The couple stood outside for a moment and returned to kissing each other once again. Ray felt his stomach drop and not just from his hangover. Poor Chris he was going to be devastated when he told him.

 

 

 

Mutely he paid for his pack of smokes, wondered back to his car and while driving back to work he absent mindedly lit a fag taking a thankful drag of nicotine.

 

 

 

He working out what to say in detail as he walked into the station practically ignoring everyone else as he concentrated. With a firm resolve he marched into CID and went straight for Chris desk.

 

 

 

“Chris need a word.” He said gruffly.

 

 

“Yeah what's up Ray” Chris sounded even more hung over then him. He looked it too, his eyes were red and bloodshot. Ray opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. He could suddenly see where this conversation would go.

 

 

 

He'd take Chris aside and try and steer him toward the conversation. That wouldn't work and Chris would just be bemused and get them both tied up in knots until Ray would just blurt it out. Chris wouldn't know what he was on about and then when he got what Ray was saying he'd get angry. They'd end up yelling at each other and Chris would storm off. Some point in the future Chris would learn the truth and be heart broken but knowing Chris he'd still be miserable with him and wouldn't talk to him at all.

 

 

 

“ Ray you alright? Yeh not about to barf are you?” Chris asked peering blearily up at Ray. Ray snapped back into himself and dumbly shook his head.

 

 

 

“ I owe you money for a pint.” He lied and quickly dropped some change on the desk trying to elevate his guilt.

 

 

 

He wondered over to his desk and plopped down pulling out another cigarette and lighting up. It might not be the truth but Ray wasn't going to say anything. Chris was going to get his heartbroken what ever he did and at least this way he'd still have a mate to turn to.

 

 

 

The Fifth Time

 

 

Ray was thirty nine and in a bad mood. He'd been in a bad mood for quiet some time ever since Sam Saint Fucking Tyler had waltzed into CID with a what must have been a flag pole shoved up his jacksie.

 

 

 

He was by most definitions a mad man and a bad copper too but no one else seemed to believe it. He walked around like he owned the place. He never seemed to have one ounce of loyalty to anyone but himself. He kept saying that his loyalty was to the law but what about Vic Tyler? What about Morgon? Ray didn't know what type of law Sam Tyler followed but it wasn't one that Ray had ever read.

 

 

 

He challenged Gene on whatever they did and all Ray could do was watch frustrated. Sam would push and push and push the Guv. When they fought Ray was sure that Gene was closer to defeat then ever before. In Ray's mind he was watching Sam grind Gene down, taking everything from him. And the less said about the voices the better.

 

 

 

What was worse. What really got on his ruddy nerves and made him grind his teeth. What made him want to punch Sam Tyler in the stomach was that Gene was changing. It hadn't been noticeable at first but gradually like a rot setting in he canged. The orders were different. Forensics and gloves and talking to the press. By the book. Gene started to say 'by the book' . He'd never said that before in all the time Ray had known him.

 

 

 

But there were more insidious things happening. The way Gene walked, the way he talked, just something in his eye was different. Sam Tyler was manipulating Gene Hunt. Of that Ray Carling was certain.

 

 

 

Ray knew that Sam had to work with Gene as his DI but not to the exclusion of everyone else surely?

 

 

 

There was a time when it was Ray that drank with him, talking of the blags that had gone down, the pub, racing, women. He couldn't really see Tyler involved in any of those things the prissy bastard. He tried hard to ignore the pain when he saw them working together totally in sync. Jumping over desks together without a word of communication.

 

 

 

The longer Sam stayed the more different Gene became. The more informal they became. It boiled his blood how casually it slipped in. Tyler called the Guv Gene at work and he listened. Ray had known him for years and he never called him that always Guv. Because that's the way it worked.

 

 

 

Somehow the worst part was the Guv. At first Ray thought that he'd managed to get back at Tyler by calling him Gladys and Doris highlighting Tyler's girlishness but then Ray had seen them smile at each other. Just quickly, just softly and just the once and Ray realised in a flash that this was a pet name. A nickname, a joke shared between them. A way of making Tyler more special then anyone else in the team.

 

 

 

But then Ray thought looking back it had always been like that.

 

 

 

It was a month after the Kramer case and they'd all piled into the pub. Even Tyler was there. Awkwardly sitting at the bar stool at the front sipping his whisky. A couple of the plonks had set up near him and they chatted amongst themselves.

 

 

 

When Ray had turned he saw that the Guv was staring at Tyler with a glint in his eye. He'd never seen Hunt look like that before, it was calculating and lost at the same time. Like Gene was a mile away.

 

 

 

“It's like a bloody hen house over there.” Ray commented laughing as he took a swig of bitter. The Guv twitched and turned to him sounding dazed.

 

 

 

“Hmm what do yeh say?” He even sounded muted, like part of him was missing all of a sudden. Ray pointed to Tyler who had put his arm on Cartwrights shoulder and was laughing, that stupid inane grin spread across his face. Practically all the plonks on the force were drooling over him, Ray really couldn't see why either.

 

 

 

“I said it's a bloody hen house over there. Seems to fit in well with that lot.” Ray said indicating to the smug bastard.

 

 

 

Ray waited for the Guv to laugh or at least give something back but this time he just sat staring at Tyler and taking slow steady sips of his pint. Ray had the increasing feeling that he was intruding on something private. Mind you he often didn't know what the Guv was thinking.

 

 

 

“Tyler and Cartwright. I caught them earlier looked like there really you know...Do you think their you know...getting along.” He said before coughing. Ray could only stare for a minute with the distinct feeling that he was missing something.

 

 

 

“Well.” He started after a moment. “She's definitely getting wet over him. Her and just about every other bloody bird in the station.” He grumbled.

 

 

 

“ Not sure about him though, can't seem to make his bloody mind up. Great big girl. Probably wouldn't know what to do with a bird if he got one, probably try and talk her to it rather then a good downstairs insides like most of us.” He laughed again and after a pause so did the Guv but it didn't sound right. In fact Gene was still looking over at Tyler with a foreign scrutiny.

 

 

 

Sam suddenly turned around and saw them looking. Sitting close to the Guv as he was Ray could feel the slight tense in his muscles. Tyler smiled slightly and cocked his head to the left, the Guv relaxed nodded and began drinking again. He turned in his seat suddenly and began to talk about football to Ray as if nothing had happened. Ray had been left with a very unsettled feeling . After all he was a copper and he had coppers instincts no matter how rusty they were.

 

 

 

Ray had waited patiently for Tyler to get his act together and he had to admit at least grudgingly that Tyler got results. At times he produced solutions like some magic act and even Ray despite all his grievances couldn't help but admire the man.

 

 

 

A year in and he'd tried not to kill him but this was too far. Sam had been shouting in the corridor at the ceiling telling it to shut up. The suspect they had spent so long trying to catch was now refusing to speak except for a barely veiled threat that Sam ought to be careful or he'd end up in a funny farm.

 

 

 

Personally Ray agreed with the scumbag, Tyler may be brilliant but he was a loose canon and that could only bring trouble. At the mention of Tyler being sent away the Guv had leapt over the table and nearly bludgeoned him to death. It took Tyler and Ray several minutes to pull him off and then they had to call an ambulance.

 

 

 

Ray was fed up. He was fed up of Tyler being the golden boy, the talk of the station. He was fed up with his arrogant ways, that smug smile. He was fed up of all the plonks getting their knickers in a twist over him.He was fed up of Chris deferring to Tyler as if he would have all the answers. He was fed up of losing Gene to some stupid poofy bastard that had waltzed into town like he owned the place.

 

 

And most of all the real bloody annoyance. He was absolutely fed up, sick to death actually, of being kept out of the loop.

 

 

 

He was fed up of Tyler and the Guv talking to each other and stopping as soon as he came in the room. He was sick to death that the Guv was so lenient, so biased in his favour. There just was no reason for it. Tyler was no more important than any other bloke on the force. He shouldn't be allowed to act like a lunatic and no one be allowed to say anything. Not any more.

 

 

 

Ray was going to march down to the office right now and tell Hunt to make his decision.

 

 

 

That decided he walked right back up to the top of the station. The night had well and truly settled in and everyone else had pretty much gone home. All of CID (except for the Guv) had headed either home or to the pub. For once Ray just wanted to watch telly and go to bed but the fire in his stomach wouldn't let him. He took the stairs quickly now that he made the decision he wasn't about to back out now.

 

 

 

When he went to the offices they were empty and only one light was left on. After several minutes searching and a negative response from the desk sergeant Ray decided to head back down again. Before he left he was going to take a leak, the main bog was closed so he going to have to use the ones down the bottom near the collators office which wasn't often used except by Tyler and Chris.

 

 

Once he'd finished he got ready to leave and was about to go out in to the cold when he caught a snatch of the Guvs raised voice coming from the collators den.

 

 

 

Looking about the empty corridor Ray, like any copper, went forward. The sound of the Guvs raised voice became clearer. The door wasn't shut properly so Ray ever so quietly opened it and scooted in. Luckily the collators den was such a labyrinth the Guv didn't spot him, nor did Tyler who was the butt of Hunts ire.

 

 

 

Looks like Ray didn't need to talk to the Guv after all. Gene Hunt was pacing about the small space looking absolutely furious, his face was flushed and hair wild. His shirt was rolled up to his elbows and there was a dark stain of sweat on the back. The room was the stuffiest in the building which was why no one came down here at all. Tyler was leaning against a relatively clean shelf looking more annoyed then chastised.

 

 

 

“What the bloody hell do you think yeh playing at you stupid bastard! Screamin' you ruddy head of where anyone can see yeh! He's never gonna talk now, or he's gonna tell everyone how completely barmy you are.”

 

 

 

Tyler rolled his eyes and folded his arms, tense but still casual.

 

 

 

“Gene” That first name again spoken slowly as if Hunt was an idiot Ray thought angrily.

 

 

“ Gene he'll talk eventually and even if he does say anything about me whose going to believe him? It's his word against mine and yours and somehow it's not worrying me.” He said with maddening calm.

 

 

 

Gene didn't seem placated at all and continued to shout. “But it's not just him is it! What about Crane or the other coppers? Do you think no one talks? Yeh think they just ignore you all the time when you're off shouting to ghosts in the future? Yeh think Cartwright didn't come to me after she stopped you from jumping off the sodding roof!” He yelled face flushed looking ready for a fight. Tyler sprang forward looking more annoyed by the second.

 

 

 

“Gene you're worried about nothing! So people see some stuff. We can easily explain it away! No one's going to listen to them! No one is going to listen to Gibbson he's just robbed sixteen houses! And no one is going to talk because they're loyal to you.” Tyler snapped his voice not raising but gaining a steely edge. Unlike the Guv who was moving like a lion trapped in a cage, Tyler was standing still readying for a fight.

 

 

 

“They're watching you! The more crap you pull the more they keep tabs on yeh. How long before they find out what were doin'. You think loyalty will last long after that?” Hunt yelled and thumped the wall sending dust spilling about like a bomb cloud.

 

 

 

Ray had been inching closer the more he got drawn into the argument. Now his interest was well and truly peaked. Tyler and the Guv were up to something. He knew Tyler had done something to his friend. Knew that he was going to destroy him. Perhaps he was still working for Morgon after all.

 

 

 

Sam sighed and shook his head. “Is that what you're worried about? Nothing will happen. I know what we're doin' is dangerous but we knew that goin' in! They won't find out..” Sam said walking forward to Gene who had stopped pacing but still looked ruffled.

 

 

 

“You can't know that! What you're not just from the future now you can predict every bloody thing that's gonna happen!” He shouted red in the face, Tyler flushed too. Ray's eye brows were currently reaching his hair line so it felt like. Tyler really was daft. He thought he was from the future? Well at least he didn't think he was Cleopatra or something. Gene obviously knew a lot more about Tyler then Ray had ever suspected.

 

 

 

“That's right make fun. I only told you that because yeh pestered me. I knew you'd throw it in my face!” Tyler growled fist bunched ready for a punch up.

 

 

 

“Why is it that most of the time yeh a ruddy genius but when it's somethin' important yeh brains turn into bloody soup!” Gene spat at him pointing viciously at the now pacing Tyler.

 

 

 

“My brains turn to soup! What about yours! Gibbson makes one comment about me needin' psychiatric help and you blow a gasket! I don't see what all the fuss is about!” Tyler was practically shouting again voice laced with sarcasm.

 

 

 

“I'm sayin' you need to be more careful!” Gene spat at him with urgency. Sam tusked shaking his head in a mix of disbelief and anger.

 

 

 

“You are unbelievable. What, I shout at the ceiling and suddenly everyone know you'ra bent and doing your DI! You need to stop being so paranoid Gene.” Tyler said waving his arm as he spoke. Luckily Gene decided at that moment to kick the wall. Luckily as Ray had at that moment, once the words had sunk in, both choked and hit the wall when he backed away quickly. He wanted desperately to leave right now and not hear another word, let it be a dream, let him not see evidence click into place in his mind. But his feet were stuck to the floor and he had no choice but to listen.

 

 

 

“See what I mean about soup! Of course I'm bloody worried about them findin' out yeh great toss pot! If they find out we'll be dead within a week. But that's not what this is about!” He said voice getting hoarse with shouting. Tyler stood there looking bemused now and still just as defensive as before.

 

 

 

“Well what the fuck is it about then?”

 

 

 

“They could take you away!” Gene choked out with such a sound of desperation and fear that Sam and Ray both had to stop. The Guv and Tyler were stood on either side of the small square space staring at each other. Gene desperately and Ray was alternately surprised and disgusted to see that Gene's eyes were sparkling slightly.

 

 

 

“They can't send me to a psychiatric hospital if I don't want to go Gene. They can't keep me there even so. I can lie to doctors and you can vouch for me. You know I'm not crazy not after all the stuff you've seen.” Sam said softly leaning against the shelves again. Gene took to pacing again and rubbing his fingers agitatedly through his hair. Ray had never seen him like this before. He was always controlled he rarely looked out of his depths or desperate. He gave a low chuckle.

 

 

 

“You keep thinkin' it's like them places in your fancy future. Everyone talks but you can' say anythin' less you piss someone off. It's not like that here. The quacks aren't gonna care what you say Sam. They aren't gonig to wanna listen to yeh. If they get yeh they'll just try and shut you up. Forever. They'll destroy yeh long before they kill yeh.” He said with quiet fear. Gene was stood stock still now staring intently at Tyler who moved forward trying to be comforting.

 

 

 

“Gene you can't know that for certain. I know things are rough now but you can't know what it'd be like.” He'd stepped forward again so that he now stood directly before the slightly stooped figure of Gene Hunt.

 

 

 

“Of course I know what it's like.” Gene said said firmly his lips pressed together. He was no longer looking at Tyler who was trying to move his head to catch his eyes.

 

 

 

“From hear say? That's hardly the best proof ever Gene. Aside from that how can yeh know?” He said being infuriatingly calm folding his arms like he always did when he thought he was right. Gene was suddenly angry again like a volcano that he'd been quite for a hundred years suddenly erupting.

 

 

 

“I know because I've bloody been in one!” He shouted suddenly eyes shining still. Ray wasn't sure who looked more alarmed by this him or Tyler.

 

 

 

“What? Why?” He said moving forward to Gene who gave a low dark chuckle.

 

 

“Why? Why do you think? Cause I would much rather have fun with another blokes John Thomas then stick me hand round a birds tits!” Ray had never heard Gene sound so bitter in his life. To be honest it was difficult to do anything but listen to what was being said without trying to take it all in. Ray felt like that girl in them books. The one who fell down a rabbit hole and found that world was suddenly upside down and back to front.

 

 

 

Tyler seemed to dither now unable to decide what to say. At any other time Ray would have been glad to see the little shite completely at a loss for words.

 

 

 

“When?” He finally managed. The whole room suddenly felt different. They were both so quiet now, so serious compared to the firing rage of before. Ray was so worried that his every breath could be heard. What would they do if they caught him here? What would he do if they caught him here? He stopped wondering when after a long pause the Guv finally started to speak, softly and haltingly.

 

 

 

“I was sixteen. Me mam caught me with this bloke. He'd be bought twenty. First time I'd ever snogged a bloke and I got caught first time.” Tyler made a startled noise.

 

 

 

“You snogged a bloke when you were sixteen?” He said leaning on the wall opposite Gene. The space wasn't that wide so there was barely an inch between their out stretched feet. Gene gave a snort at Sam's question.

 

 

 

“What? You didn't think I'd never been with a bloke till you came along did you Tyler?” He scoffed which turned into a laugh when Sam shifted guiltily.

 

 

 

“Bloody hell Marjorie, you really are full of yeh self aren't you. You're good looking Tyler but even you can't make a man bent.” He snorted but Sam was still looking seriously at him. Gene turned quiet once again.

 

 

 

“What happened?” Tyler asked so softly Ray hardly heard it. Hunt took a steadying breath.

 

 

“Well first me mam just yeh know.” He made a small head gesture but Tyler obviously knew what Gene was saying because his face screwed up half in horror and half in sympathy.

 

 

 

“Well she heard that it could be cured. Don' know how she found that out, never bothered to ask. She found this place up in Scotland, said they could cure me. Just after my seventeenth birthday it was ...just came into me room and told me to pack a bag and get in the car. Didn't tell me where we was goin'. We got on a train at the station and by the end of the day we was there.

 

 

 

It was this big ole' house like in them ghost films . Frightened the shit out me even before I got in. I knew somehow I knew where I was. She practically had to drag me in.She had a good arm my mam.” He sounded proud for a moment and Tyler looked disgusted but Gene didn't notice at all. His eyes were wide and staring like he wasn't in the collators den any more.

 

 

 

Ray had heard that people went to get cured when he was younger. Not official like but whispers. He never really heard how, he hadn't been bothered. Looking at the Guv's face he suddenly wondered what he'd been through.

 

 

 

“I panicked when I saw all them nurses. I tried to get away, took out three doctors and a guard before they got me. Woke up tied to a bed, didn't remember where I was or what I was doin' there. No one came in to see me for ages.” Gene suddenly looked so frightened like he could still hear what ever had happened all that time ago with clarity.

 

 

 

“I could hear screamin' like you wouldn't believe. It sounded like I was in a zoo not a hospital.” His voice trailed of. The room was silent for a very long time, Ray's legs were starting to cramp but he couldn't bring himself to care.

 

 

 

“What did they do to you?” Sam asked cautiously like he was talking to a wild animal.

 

 

 

“Nothin' much. Gave me drugs, don' know what. I never asked they never said. Sometimes they made me chest ache, others I'd puke up everythin'. Mostly nothin' happened. I got of easy though I didn't say anythin'. I wanted to be cured. Wanted to be normal.

 

 

 

There was this one bloke there called ...”Here Gene broke off frowning. “I can't remember. He must have told me. I remember him though. He kept sayin' that there was nothin' wrong with us. That it were better to be with a bloke you wanted then spend your whole life pretendin' to want a bird.”

 

 

 

“He was right you know. What we're doin' it isn't wrong Gene.” Sam said softly his eyes were shining now as if he could feel the Guv's pain. Gene gave a bitter half sob half laugh. Ray wondered if the Guv had ever spoken about this before. Had he buried it and forgotten it or did he think about it all the time?

 

 

 

“They didn't think so. The things they did to him. I don't know what exactly but they just kept doin' more and more tests to him. In the end he just lay there on the bed. He didn't hear what anyone said. He just lay there and didn't move, he even pissed himself. Sometimes they wouldn't change him all day.” His voice broke off mid sentence and Tyler moved suddenly and placed his hand gently on Genes arm and stroked him gently. Despite the fact Ray was enthralled in the Guvs story he could help but feel disgust rising up.

 

 

 

“I'm so sorry. Oh god Gene why didn't you tell me.” He pleaded softly moving even closer.

 

 

 

“What do you think I'm doing now Doris reciting sonnets? I thought I was bleedin' tellin' you!” Gene said failing to sound normal, failing to hide tears.

 

 

 

“What happened to you?”

 

 

 

“Me? I was alright. Started to hit on the nurses, copped a feel now and then and they figured I was cured. Called my mam up, false name of course so no one would know. She even came and picked me up. I hadn't seen her in six weeks I didn't think she'd come and get me. I left cured, don' know what happened to him, whatever his name was. He'd be dead now. Like I said they destroy you before they kill you.” He finished softly.

 

 

 

Sam suddenly moved forward and hugged Gene, clung to him firmly and pressed his head against blonde hair. Ray was lucky they couldn't see him as they were nearly staring at the spot he was hiding. Sam was crying softly, tears trawling down his face.

 

 

 

“ Get off me yeh great big bird.” Gene said gruffly weakly trying to shake him off. Sam shook his head with force and clung tighter.

 

 

 

“No I won't!” He said and hugged Gene tighter one hand pulling at Gene's head. Ray was still trying to battle his trained reaction to shout out or stop this whatever it was. Suddenly Gene seemed to break and shakily he pulled Tyler close and choked back a sob again.

 

 

 

“This isn't some coma! This is real, I'm real. I can't stop them yeh stupid bastard. And I can't let you go there! I can't let them take you. But I can't go back there. I can't stop thinkin' about it. I've been with blokes in me life, I never knew who they were. Quick in and out it's not safe otherwise. Now....it's so bloody dangerous. I just want you to stop bein' such a stupid twat about the whole thing and be careful.” Gene finished seeming to break into quiet sobs and then fell quiet.

 

 

 

They were silent for a long time without moving. Suddenly the Guv seemed to snap back into himself and the two pulled apart and Gene leant forward and placed his lips on Tylers. Ray baulked and looked away.

 

 

 

“ So what's the grub tonight then.” The Guv said. And it was the Guv again. Someone Ray recognised, not some stranger in a Gene Hunt suit.

 

 

 

“ Erm..”T yler coughed horsely and wiped some stray wetness from his eyes and tried to join the Guv in normal conversation. “It's this lamb curry but I need to get to some stuff ...herb stuff.” He said halthingly. Gene snorted in disgust.

 

 

 

“Great another meal of cat sick. Why can't you make somethin' normal like roast or somethin' . Yeh know with potatoes and stuffin and the like. You said you were a dab hand in the kitchen, try cookin' a proper meal for a change.” He said walking over a chair and picking up his camel hair coat.

 

 

 

“Gene when do I have time to cook a roast? They take forever! Anyway Curries good for you, expands your taste buds. And roast is to fattening, you could stand to lose a few.” Tyler said poking the swell of Gene's gut.

 

 

 

“ Oi I'm in my prime me. The peak of physical condition. Nothin' wrong with me weight. At least I'm not made of skin and bone like you.” Gene said with a victors air.

 

 

 

“I am not made of skin and bone. I'm lithe, it's compact muscle.” Tyler said petulantly. Gene barked out a laugh.

 

 

 

“Yeh made of skin and bone. I rolled over in the night and thought I got your elbow in me face. Only it turned out to be your bloody shoulder!” He said .

 

 

 

“ What about you!” Sam exclaimed as they walked to the door together. “ When you roll on top of me I think you break my ribs!” He complained good naturedly.

 

 

 

“Say what you like about me Tyler.” Gene said holding the door open. Ray had to scuttle softly away so as to avoid detection. “But at least I didn't get knocked over by a thirteen year old.” He snickered. Tyler bristled quickly.

 

 

 

“Hey that child was seriously obese! I wouldn't be surprised if his mother was feeding him nothing but beefburgers all the time. He must have been ten times your weight.” He said walking out the door. The doors swung shut behind them. Ray dazed and confused staid hidden even after the sounds of their argument drifted away.

 

 

 

It was now the day after and Ray was stood in the corridor leading to the superintendents office wondering what the fuck he was going to do.

 

 

 

He'd hardly slept all night having fevered dreams of being strapped down to a bed with Tyler screaming to the ceiling as DCI Morgon injected him with a huge needle and the Guv just stood there crying softly.

 

 

 

Ray was still at a loss as to what to do. His whole concept of the world was changing. His friend wasn't his friend at all. He didn't know that man. He was a poof but Ray still couldn't believe it. Tyler was prissy and he could almost see it but the Guv? The Guv was normal, he drank normal, he walked normal , he talked normal. Weren't poofs supposed to act like birds or something. Wasn't there supposed to be some clue about them so you could spot them? Poofs weren't people you knew. They were strange weirdos that looked at you strangely and they did poof jobs like acting or art or something. They didn't work in police forces. That was a bloke job.

 

 

 

He kept remembering all the times he'd been at the pub with the Guv. The time he first met him and admired him for his courage. Was that all a lie?

 

 

 

He kept thinking that he'd imagined it. That the Guv wasn't one of them but like Ray. But that kiss with Tyler, that was burnt onto his eyes forever. Every time he'd see them from now on he'd see that. He'd also hear that story. Hear that fear in the Guv's voice. Because he was still his friend wasn't he? And he'd never seen the Guv terrified like that. Worried for his life, scared for a member of his team yes. But not terrified like that. He remembered his fathers screams at night and wondered if Gene heard the same thing.

 

 

 

But what the Guv and Tyler was doing was sick and wrong he knew it. It had to be. Why else would he be standing in the corridor outside the superintendents office? But if it was such an easy choice. If it was that they were doing something wrong why was he hesitating?

 

 

 

He would have to tell the Super. It must be the right thing to do. He marched forward to the office door and stopped. Could he really do this? He was angry yes. Furious, it felt like the worse kind of betrayal. All those times that Gene had clapped him on the shoulder what if he was doing it to feel him up, or get close to him or something? But Ray clapped peoplle on the back. Everyone did that.

 

 

 

He raised his hand to the door and he stopped. He couldn't do it. It was still the Guv. It was still him. It was the bloke who'd helped him out when his money was low, who drank in the pub with him, that played darts with him. That took a bullet for him, who he'd saved from a bullet all those years ago.

 

 

 

It wasn't that Tyler had changed him at all .By the Guv's own admission he'd always been a queer. No the difference was that the Guv was happy. And Ray realised then that before now he'd never seen Gene happy. Not really. What must a life be like if you'd never been happy?

 

 

 

Even Ray who'd had his fair share of misery had at least been happy with the birds often enough. He wondered if he'd have been with half of them if he had to be scared of being caught all the time. He'd have to have been desperate.

 

 

 

He made his mind up then and there. He moved away from the door turned on his heels and marched back to the elevator without a second look. Because even though the very idea of the Guv and Tyler or any bloke doing that made Ray feel ill. Even though it was against the law. Even though it was terribly wrong Ray knew it was right to stay quiet. Because despite everything Gene Hunt was the same Gene Hunt he'd always been even if Ray knew him more now then before. Gene Hunt, despite everything Ray would see now when he looked at him, Gene Hunt was still Ray's hero and a hero deserved some happiness, and the chance to get his leg over now and again.


End file.
